The Career You Never See is IVMF’s campaign to expose the structural hardships military spouses are up against when it comes to family and career. Military spouses are some of the most educated and deeply capable individuals, yet they face persistent unemployment and underemployment driven by the realities of military life.
Frequent moves, licensing barriers, childcare gaps, and repeated career restarts compound over a lifetime to limit income, stall advancement, and degrade retirement security. These are systemic outcomes, not individual failures, and they carry real costs for families, military readiness, and the national economy.
Data tells that story in aggregate, but these stories are most powerful when heard from the military spouses themselves. Over the coming weeks we’re publishing guest blogs from military spouses in their own words, sharing what career disruption, invisible labor, and starting over again actually look like from ground level.
by Bessie Mullins
There is a version of me that existed before military life. She was comfortable, certain, and believed life would always feel predictable. Then, in 2023, I became a military spouse.
I was born in Fayetteville, North Carolina, home of Fort Bragg, so military life was always around me. Soldiers, uniforms, deployments, sacrifice, and patriotism were familiar sights growing up. Yet somehow, despite being surrounded by military culture my entire life, I never imagined I would one day live it personally. I never imagined what it would feel like to love someone whose duty could take them away at any moment. I never imagined what it would feel like holding everything together while silently falling apart. I certainly never imagined that becoming a military spouse would awaken the strongest version of myself.
What I know now is this: military spouses are some of the strongest people walking on this earth. We learn to bend without breaking. We learn to adapt when life changes overnight. We learn how to carry heartbreak, uncertainty, motherhood, career goals, loneliness, and sacrifice all at once. Most importantly, we learn RESILIENCE.
When Goodbye Became Part of My Reality
When my husband left for Basic Training and AIT, I struggled more than I expected. Before military life, I had never truly experienced being apart from him for an extended period of time. Suddenly, the person I leaned on the most was gone, and I was left trying to navigate a completely different reality. The silence was loud, the nights felt longer, and the uncertainty felt heavy. At the time I did not realize this was the beginning of my resilience story. Before moving to our first duty station, I had to ask myself one difficult question: What comes next for me?
For so long, my focus had been on supporting my family and adapting to the changes military life demanded. But somewhere in the middle of all those responsibilities, I realized I had stopped asking what I wanted for myself. That question would ultimately change my life.
Fort Carson Ignited a Fire Inside of Me
In 2024, we arrived at Fort Carson, Colorado. This move changed my life. For the first time, I began discovering the opportunities available to me simply because I was a military spouse. I started researching career programs, educational resources, and pathways into Information Technology.
Something inside me woke up! I realized I did not have to put my dreams on hold and that I could still become something greater. That is when I made the decision to pursue cybersecurity. I began studying for my first certification: Certified in Cybersecurity (CC) through ISC2. When I passed that exam, there was a feeling that I couldn’t fully explain. To some people, it may have looked small. For me, it was a life-changing experience. That certification represented more than an accomplishment. It represented proof. Proof that I was still capable. Proof that I could rebuild myself. Proof that motherhood and military life did not erase my ambitions.
I had spent years focused on being a mother, caring for my family, and navigating constant changes. Now, I was stepping into a completely new version of myself. For the first time in a long time, I felt proud of what I was becoming.
The Moment I Stopped Waiting for Permission to Chase My Dreams
“Resilience is not pretending the storm does not hurt. It is learning how to stand in the rain, carry the weight anyway, and still become the person you were destined to be.“
After earning my first certification, I started researching education opportunities for military spouses. That was when I discovered MyCAA. The more I learned about cybersecurity, the more I knew this was where I belonged. But the road ahead was not easy. I had no background in technology. I was on the journey of self-learning.
I was balancing family life, motherhood, military responsibilities, and trying to figure out my future all at once. Still, I kept going. I made another achievement: I earned my CompTIA Network+. I then discovered IVMFs Onward to Opportunity program (O2O). That opportunity changed my entire mindset. Through O2O, I was given the chance to pursue my Security+ certification. This was one of the most pivotal moments of my life. I finally found the part of technology that I was in love with: security.
I managed to study while running a household, while my husband attended training and field exercises, and while taking care of the children. There were moments I had to be both mom and dad. There were nights I cried from exhaustion, nights where sleep barely existed, and nights where the pressure felt unbearable. At times, it felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. But even in those moments, I refused to quit.
I reminded myself constantly: I was not just surviving military life. I was building a future inside of it. When I passed Security+, I realized something powerful. I had built confidence through discipline, and I had built strength through struggle. I had discovered that resilience is often born in moments where quitting feels easier.
Deployment Tested Everything Inside of Me
Over time, I continued pursuing more opportunities. I was accepted into another program called Service2Cyber where I became one of 250 participants selected for a 350-hour pre-internship where I trained as a cyber threat analyst. I was finally seeing the progress of my hard work.
Military life has a way of testing you the moment you start finding stability. My husband received his deployment orders. It shattered me. I remember feeling like my heart had been ripped from my chest. I finally adjusted to having him home, and suddenly I was preparing to hold down the fort alone. Again.
He was across the world while I was balancing responsibilities at home. There were nights I wanted to give up and even worse, I was facing rejection after rejection. I applied for programs. Rejected. I applied for a job. Rejected. The rejections came just as quickly as I applied. There were moments where life felt incredibly unfair, where I questioned whether all of my hard work even mattered.
Every single time life knocked me down, I remembered something important: I had already survived difficult seasons before! So, I kept going. I started pursuing my SC-900 certification because I knew I needed to keep moving toward my goals. Even when I felt stuck. Even when I felt exhausted. Even when life felt overwhelming. Because quitting would have erased every sacrifice I already made.
The Darkest Moments Taught Me the Most About Strength
One of the hardest moments of my life happened the day before the Department of Defense Cyber Sentinel Competition. I lost my best friend to lupus. I was emotionally drained. I remember sitting with tears in my eyes wondering how life could possibly hit me from every direction at once. Part of me wanted to break down completely and another part of me wanted to walk away from everything.
But another part of me understood this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. So, I showed up anyway. For eight hours, I competed while carrying heartbreak inside of me. I leaned on faith, prayer, and the strength I had built through every difficult moment before. Somehow, despite everything, I placed in the top 35% of the competition. TOP 35%!
When the timer ended, I cried. Not because everything was perfect, and not because life suddenly became easy. I cried because I realized something incredibly important. Sometimes our darkest days reveal the strength we never knew we had. That competition taught me that vulnerability is not a weakness. It taught me that military spouses are human. We hurt, we grieve, and we struggle, but somehow, we still rise.
Rejection Did Not Get the Final Say
Even after major accomplishments, the rejection continued. I applied to Microsoft Software and Systems Academy. I received an interview. Then life hit me again. The same day I prepared for that opportunity, I suffered another personal loss. That same week, I received another rejection that deeply impacted my confidence. I had waited an entire year to apply for that program. I truly believed it was my moment.
When I was rejected, I questioned everything. But instead of letting rejection destroy me, I allowed it to strengthen me. I kept studying. I kept applying. I kept believing. I truly believe that when one door closes, another one opens. Eventually, that door opened for me. I received an offer to become a cybersecurity engineer intern. That moment meant everything.
Someone finally saw the potential I had been fighting so hard to prove. Then another blessing arrived. I was accepted into Microsoft Software and Systems Academy for Server and Cloud Administration! I cried tears of relief and gratitude. Those tears reminded me that every setback had prepared me for this moment.
To the Military Spouse Who Feels Like Giving Up
If you are reading this while feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, uncertain, or discouraged, I want you to know something:
You are not alone.
Your sacrifices matter.
Your dreams still matter.
Your purpose still exists outside of the title “military spouse.”
There will be moments where life feels unbearably heavy.
Moments where rejections make you question yourself.
Moments where deployments, loneliness, parenting, financial stress, or uncertainty make you feel invisible.
But do not allow temporary pain to convince you your story is over.
Your current season is not your final destination.
Sometimes resilience looks powerful.
Sometimes resilience looks like simply getting out of bed and trying again.
Either way, it counts.
Keep pushing, believing, and keep fighting for yourself.
Because one day you will look back and realize the very moments that almost broke you became the moments that built you.
And when that day comes, you will understand this truth:
Resilience does not just help military spouses survive. Resilience gives us the power to transform pain into purpose.
About the Author: Bessie Mullins is a military spouse, aspiring cybersecurity professional, and advocate for resilience within the military community. Originally from Fayetteville, North Carolina, she transformed the changes of military life into motivation to pursue a career in technology and cybersecurity. Through perseverance, faith, and determination, she continues inspiring others to push beyond adversity and pursue their goals fearlessly. Connect with her on LinkedIn.
The views and experiences shared in these guest blogs are the authors’ own and do not necessarily reflect the positions of IVMF or Syracuse University. We’re grateful to each contributor for their honesty and for trusting us with their story. Learn more about the professional and personal challenges military spouses face on a daily basis at IVMF’s The Career You Never See.